I was relieved by this morning’s daily post prompt. Because I have NOT resolved the conflicts swirling in my body around continuing this blog.
It started as a meditative place of beauty and contemplation arising from the now-famous April 2012 Platform Challenge of Robert Lee Brewer. It resolved the question of how to represent myself as an author. Into the bargain, it provided a space to share, to muse, to challenge, to respond – in a word, to put me ‘out there.’
But this year something has happened. Too many things. As a result, I have been suffering that all-too-familiar writer’s self-doubt. In a world that has gone so terribly awry, I feel called to DO something. Anything. EVERYthing. As if each utterance, each action, each moment must be devoted to fixing, resolving, unknotting the terrible twists and turns of humanity run amok.
Tall order, that! After months of nearly-posting then retracting the impulse, I remember that this blog exists to provide a space for meditative reflection, and possibly poignant moments; to question, perhaps, but not to fix bigger issues. This space is what it is. I feel gratefully resolved that it is OK to continue on my small path.
Oh, and to answer the question posed in today’s challenge: YES I HAVE kept a new year’s resolution!! My 2015 intention was to learn what it feels like to live in a strong body. On January 5, 2015 I started my ‘on-ramp’ initiation at CrossFitTT and now go regularly 3 or 4 times a week. Just yesterday I passed my one-year anniversary date and am firmly on the ‘function’ track to using my body smartly in service to my life. Resolutely!